Dublin Diaries #2: Trusting

If the last few weeks were all about taking the leap, this past week was about embracing the change. Leaning into it, adapting to it, and really just trusting the flow and the process. Those who know me know that this isn’t really my strong suit.

I was pretty nervous (underneath the surface) for my first week in my new role here. There’s a learning curve for this role, and I had a few moments before Monday where I got in my head about it a bit. But I decided to just go all in and give it my absolute best shot. My goal this week was to hit the ground running and build momentum as fast as possible. I’m proud of myself because I felt really good (and relieved) about how the week went. To be honest, I didn't get nearly enough sleep, but it was the good kind of exhaustion - the kind where you’re buzzing with energy from something new. New role, new people, new energy, new environment. There’s not much I love more than a fresh start. I was tired by Friday, but in a deeply fulfilling way. I feel like the new space, role, and team are a wonderful fit.

I’ve also been trying to be really intentional on the weekends. Instead of watching mindless reality TV (which I’ve learned doesn't actually recharge me), I've been spending my downtime exploring things that truly feed my soul, like nature and fresh air. This was hands down one of my favorite weekends!

Saturday was a total recharge day. I explored Camden and Ranelagh, got an amazing scalp massage, found a delicious local soup and juice spot, and then treated myself to 5th row seats to Riverdance at Gaiety Theatre. If 7-year old Renee knew that I would watch Riverdance live in Ireland at the age of 37, she would be so excited! There is something about Riverdance that just scratches an itch in my brain - it’s absolutely mesmerizing. The dancers' posture, facial expressions, and energy are magnetic - and the noise and synchronicity just add to it. The dancers were so strong yet soft, confident yet humble - holding both extremes at once in a way I found so inspiring. The contrast of keeping their upper bodies completely still while their feet move at lightning speed was just incredible to watch. Unfortunately, the lead male dancer fell on his first entrance, but he got right up and went right on dancing. It was an impressive recovery and he was perfect the rest of the show. It was honestly a reminder that we’re all human and make mistakes! I have also decided that I will come back in my next life as a Riverdance dancer.

This morning, I forced myself to wake up before dawn and head out to Howth. I started the ~15 km cliff trail at 6:45 AM and finished around 9:00 AM. It was breathtaking, and I only passed a handful of people the entire time. I didn't listen to music or podcasts - just my own thoughts, the silence, the sea, and the birds. I drank in the fresh air and green landscape like it was food for my soul. As I walked, I couldn't help but draw metaphors between the hike and my move here: how you can't always see what's around the bend, and how easy it is to feel scared or want to turn back. But if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, listen to your inner self, and trust the path, you get through. Afterward, I wandered through Howth Market and treated myself to an authentic Aran sweater that I can’t wait to wear this winter!

From there, I took the DART back to the city center for a tour of 14 Henrietta Street. Learning about the building’s evolution - from a grand 1700s Georgian townhouse to overcrowded tenements - was a fascinating, humbling glimpse into Dublin's social history and how people persevered through poverty and hardship. All in all, this weekend was the perfect balance of truly recharging: physically, mentally, emotionally. I’m proud of myself for mixing it up with the right balance of nature, culture, history, and self-care.

But it’s not just about what I’m doing - it’s about how I’m doing it. I’m being much more intentional about not rushing, giving myself plenty of time to get where I need to be without that frantic energy. I'm actively reminding myself to stop and rest when I feel tired, rather than feeling the urge to go, go, go, zoom, zoom, zoom to the next thing. For example, this morning I stopped at a hidden beach I was walking by to read a chapter of my book - something I would never normally do mid-hike. Yesterday at lunch, I allowed myself to sit down and read instead of wolfing down a quick standing or walking bite. These are subtle reminders to teach myself that it’s okay to slow down, and that I don’t always have to operate in fight-or-flight mode. Everything will get done when it needs to - because knowing who I am, I trust that everything that needs to happen, will happen.

There are still many moments when I sort of second guess everything. When I still panic or rush or feel overwhelmed by all of it. But I know in my heart of hearts that this is where I’m meant to be right now. All of this to say: I’m not just learning to trust the process - I’m learning to trust myself. My inner compass hasn't steered me wrong yet.

howth cliffwalk hike

ST STEPHEN’s green & 14 HEnrietta Street

RIVERDANCe