Mantras of a 28 year old
I turned 28 yesterday, and as I cruise through my late 20's and into my 30's (say what?!) I've been thinking a lot about the many things I've learned, and am continuing to learn, up to this point in my life. I could write a very long list here, but I'm going to boil it down to 3 main things (mantras, if you will) that have been on my mind lately. I hope that these things resonate for others, and serve as a reminder to myself over time. Here goes:
1. It's okay to say no (and you don't always have to explain yourself)
Admittedly, this one is really tough for me. Maybe it's classic 'middle child syndrome', or maybe it's just part of my personality, but ever since I was a kid I've always had a constant feeling of guilt paired with a desire to please everyone. As I've gotten older, moved back home, and as my circle of loved ones has grown (through babies, marriages, friendships, etc) there is never a shortage of people to see or things to do. I quickly learned that saying no is not only very simple, but it's the key to my personal health. I've accepted that taking time out for myself to recharge from busy work weeks is not only okay, but it's also one of the best things I can do for my well-being. I've also learned that I don't owe anyone an explanation behind my no's, and that any choice I make, whether it's the type of food I eat, when I decide to go to bed, when I decide to wake up, or how I choose to spend my free time requires absolutely zero justification or explanation to anyone else. When I began saying no more often and stopped feeling bad about it, I noticed a change in my personal happiness and stress levels. It's a tough one, but a good one.
2. Not everyone experiences the same world that you do
Through various aspects of my life, I've come to learn that every single person has a different background that shapes who they are and how they see the world. In return, the world is full of historical events that shape how people treat others. If there's one thing I've learned thus far, it's that treating everyone's choices, beliefs, and livelihoods with respect is so important. Everyone has a different starting line and different set of challenges and circumstances that they had to deal with, and to judge or make anyone feel lesser because of it is never the answer. The more I make myself listen to others' stories and beliefs, the more I understand who they are and why they are where they are and do what they do. More listening and more empathy can go so far in making the world a better place.
3. Know what makes you feel your best - and do more of it
I've come to realize that listening to my body (and my intuition) is really important. Physically, being in-tune with how my body reacts to different types of food, different sleeping patterns, different exercises, and different working habits helps me know what I should spend more time (and less time) doing. Mentally, I pay attention to when I think most clearly (early mornings) and when I start to zone out (afternoons). Being self-aware, physically and mentally, has allowed me to capitalize on my peaks and recharge during my valleys, overall making me feel stronger and more productive. For example, waking up early (even on weekends), eating plant-based meals, switching up my exercise routine, making alone-time for myself each and every day (since I'm an introvert), and traveling (or planning to travel soon) are the top 5 things that make me feel my best, which is why I try to prioritize them in some way each day.
Above all, the one thing that struck me on my birthday was how lucky I am to not only be alive, but to be surrounded by people I truly love and care about. This past year was one for the books. I've learned so much about myself and what it means (and what it takes) for me to be happy. Yet, I know that life is a journey, and the mishaps and learnings along the way are what make it worth living. I am so excited for the year to come - my heart is full, yet open.
Xoxo